I have grandchildren who, at this particular time, are full of a special sort of hope. The kind of hope that keeps them in a cloud of excitement as Christmas Day approaches.  The kind of hope that leads them to be able to tell you exactly how many days are left until December 25.  I have the impression no matter what is under the tree that day they will have their hopes fulfilled because their hearts will be open to the joy of the unexpected goodness of the people who love them. 

This is the sort of hope I try to embrace myself as the days have darkened and the world seems off kilter more than usual.  The hope that enables me to feel gratitude and joy for each day because I know God loves me and gifts me with what I need to be happy and free.  The things I put on my "list" are not always what I receive but I hold tight to the hope that the God who loves me as a parent loves a child will gift me the grace I need to grow and express God's presence in this world.

May you find and share such a hope in this season of giving and in the year to come.

Being silent was a hard lesson for a middle child like me to learn; silence was the last thing on my mind. I was more like “hey, over here” and “listen to me”; it was a overwhelming outspoken itch I had to scratch. That fear of not being heard can breed hasty attention seeking behavior.  As I matured that deep desire for a voice quickly seem to snowball from precocious into self-centered.

Like most adults, I learned if I did not harness this awful impulsion life would do it for me. Smack! Just like that life comes along and you are at a loss. A loss of time, energy, or words; all you have is silence. In those undesirable moments of quiet God creates a space for us to hear Him. We find ourselves asking questions, like “why” and “how come?” Through prayer I found peace and courage in my silence.  God unveils our truest selves when we seek Him, not a voice of self-doubt and angst, but self-discipline and endurance.

Have you ever felt like you had more questions than answers? When was the last time you quieted yourself to listen to God?

Nothing Gold Can Stay

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leafs a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

                                                   Robert Frost, October 1923

This is one of my favorite poems, so simple, yet so profound. Brilliant poems leave interpretation up to the reader. Since the publication of Robert Frost’s Nothing Gold Can Stay, the essence of these eight lines has been studied extensively. Academics, students, and poets alike, have noted the deference to metaphors, allegories and biblical undertones all essential to understanding the subtleties in each verse.

Frost famously stated that his poems were not about nature. Scholars have connected the verses of this poem to everything, from the fleeting nature of beauty to the inevitability of loss, the fall of man, politics, and war.

When I read this poem, I think about life’s precious moments. And regardless of what is happening, I make sure to pause and appreciate the simple moments; listening to my children talk about their day, feeling the warmth of the sun on my skin, sharing an inside joke with an old friend…

What does this poem say to you?

I recently became an aunt. How exciting, I know! As long as I can remember it has always been a desire of mine to have that role in a child’s life. You know, creating memories, sharing embarrassing stories, wiping away tears and then sending them home to their parents. (I’m kidding’.) So a year ago when I heard my brother and sister in law were expecting their first child, my heart was overjoyed with anticipation of the birth of their beautiful baby.  Well, you can imagine since then, my conversations and camera roll on my phone have become consumed with all things baby. And so, the time has come where he is crawling, standing and even taking those first few steps.  Pressing his two little feet into the floor with such determination and a smile, it’s an impressive sight to see. Watching him grow and develop has begun to spark a since of deliberate bravery in my own personal growth. Babies everyday meet their challenges head on, they fall down and are right back at it again. If only that fearless tenacity carried over into our adulthood. 

Babies don’t have much hesitation taking those first steps; maybe because they have faith their parents are somewhere nearby to gather them up when they fall. We easily we forget our heavenly father is always there to do the same. When life’s challenges come our way, remember one foot in front of the other, our God is with us. Oh, how wonderful would it be a life without adversity and heartache. Just kitten kisses and sugar coated giggles, truly heaven on earth, but we would never authentically understand the peace of God. God meeting you in the midst of your circumstance, that’s when heaven truly touches earth. Psalm 30: 5 says “…weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning”, one foot in front of the other, we must rejoice because through a trial we may crawl, but with faith we will walk again.

When was the last time your faith in God helped you persevere through a trail?

As I move along in life I find my perspective on many things, naturally, has evolved.  One wonderful realization has been that grace is everywhere and available at all times.  It has been rather amazing to see would had been viewed as coincidences evolve into grace and grace carry me through, over or around the daily challenges of life.  As a believer in coincidence I didn't really question the serendipitous nature of life but grace seemed too complicated and fraught with theological baggage.  Yet I find my heart and mind opening to the amazing freedom and serenity of God's gift of grace.  Often  I find it is simply of matter of asking for help, guidance, or some indication as to how I am to move through the day.  The challenge of pausing to ask is still there BUT even that realization is a grace to me  - the little voice, the seemingly random person or sign that reminds me I am not "doing life" on my own.  I have a powerful companion on the road and I need only pause and allow God's grace to enter my mind, heart and body.  Is the openess to grace something we humans are born with and then often dismiss as we rationalize our lives?  If so, how can we expand our openness to this free gift of infinite love?

I know an old Trappist monk who sometimes uses an odd phrase in talking about people.  In conversation, he’ll refer to someone or other as “a species of genius.”  At first, I was amused and a little confused by the expression.  Eventually, I came to understand that he wasn’t necessarily talking about the person’s intelligence, but rather about the unique giftedness that the particular individual possessed.  If you or I were sitting with him, he would see each of us as a species of genius.

My monk friend recognizes that in every person there is a convergence of genetics, history, experience and temperament that make up the personal genius of that person.  It’s one reason that every life is so precious and irreplaceable.  Maybe this awareness is a Trappist thing – the fruit of their contemplation.  Thomas Merton once felt overwhelmed by the luminosity of everyone passing by him on a busy street corner in downtown Louisville.  Of the experience, he wrote, “There is no way of telling people that they are all walking around shining like the sun.”

We don’t need to be monastic, though, to get occasional epiphanies of how wondrous the people sharing the “L” car with us or sitting across the table from us are.  Maybe those moments are glimpses of heaven.  They say spirituality is matter of waking up to reality.  How would it change my relationships if I were to see others as the species of genius that they are?