First, get rid of the idea that the time you spend praying is any more holy than anything else you do that day, I say to myself.  Remember that there is nowhere in the gospels where Jesus says, or even infers, that we will be judged by how much or how often or how well we pray.  Don’t forget that he expressly rejects the idea that babbling on in prayer in the mistaken belief that somehow simply multiplying one’s words to God has any merit.  And surely keep in mind Jesus’s distain for people that make a show of their piety.

That said, do pray.  Do your best to be a prayerful person – not for God’s sake, but for yours!  Maybe God, disguised as your life, is always whispering to you, nudging you forward when you are just mucking along, showing you the way, standing by you when you think you are all alone.  Maybe God is a river of grace flowing through your life.  Deep down you know it is true.  Stop and pay attention or who knows what you may be missing.  You know from experience that it pays to pay attention.  So, pray already.

My daughter, Rachel Day, turns six in September. Most evenings I am the one who puts her to bed, which means after picking out books and pajamas, brushing teeth and putting on those pajamas, after reading those books and turning out the light, it’s time for evening prayers. Usually my wife attends to our son, George DeSales, during this night time ritual.

Evening prayers with my daughter are pretty rote at this stage. I’m trying to inculcate and cultivate the value and purpose of prayer, the value and purpose predicated on an examination of conscience, thinking of others, being grateful, and not being afraid to ask for help. And so, here’s the “formula” we mostly stick to each night. The Spirit disguised as a meandering mind or spontaneous thinking of a child may veer us elsewhere from time-to-time.

Me: Did you have a good day
Rachel: Yes / No / kind-a
Me: What do we say [regardless of a good, bad, or kind-a-good days]?
Rachel: Thank You God.

Me: Are you sorry for the times you did not listen today?
Rachel Yes (sometimes… silence)
Me: And so we say
Rachel: Sorry God

Me: Are you grateful for all of God’s graces you experienced today; in laughter and learning, curiosity and discovery; playtime and running and jumping; food and family; and all things bright and beautiful?
Rachel: Yes

Me: And what do you want to ask Jesus tonight?
Rachel: Dear Jesus, please keep us safe
Me: And please keep all the kids around the world safe, especially those who are…
Rachel: Sad, lonely, or in danger

Me: And, do you want to do good and be good?
Rachel: Yes
Me: And help people and be of service?
Rachel: Yes
Me: And listen to God, Mommy and Daddy?
Rachel: Yes

Me: Is there anyone you want to pray for tonight?
Rachel: [Usually the dog, a grandparent, or “the family”]

Me: Do you have any questions for God?
Rachel: [usually, no]

Me: And so…
Rachel: We want the Holy Spirit to guide
Me: Pope Francis
Rachel: And convert the heart of the
Me: President

Together: Our Father…

Together: Hail Mary…

Together: Glory Be…

Me: [Litany of Saints] St. Margaret of Scotland & St. Barnabas (where our children were baptized)
Rachel: Pray for us
Me: Dorothy Day & Catherine McAuley
Rachel: Pray for us
Me: Saints George & Francis de Sales
Rachel: Pray for us
Me: Mary Queen of Peace & St. Cecilia
Rachel: pray for us
Me: St. Mark & St. Thomas
Rachel: pray for us
Me: St. Ann & St. John the Evangelist
Rachel: pray for us
Me: St. Dymphna & St. Kateri
Rachel: Pray for us

Me: Anything else you want to offer to God?
Rachel: No (with rare exceptions)

 End note: She complained a few months back that my evening prayers with her were too long. She suggested, once, that we pray the rosary instead. She did not believe me that it would take longer to pray the rosary than this formula. And so, that evening I acquiesced. Since that night she has not requested the rosary at bedtime.

This quote comes to mind as I look about me and see each person, old and young, making their way through these strange and challenging times.  We can often believe that if we are strong enough, resilient enough and have a strong will we will make life the way we feel it should be.  Then something like a virus comes along and we are stunned into disbelief.  Holding onto what I expected of this summer, this school year or job search or retirement will only wear me out and possibly make me bitter and discouraged.  Letting go of those expectations allows me to be strong in the present moment – to be loving, kind, compassionate and wise because all my inner strength is not going towards the fool’s errand of changing reality.  I pray to be given the true wisdom of letting go.  I pray that I will be strong in my faith that God is present in these challenging times and my future is in God’s hand.  That God holds that future with a gentleness beyond my imagining.  I am not asked to be strong in will but strong in faith. Strong is my releasing of my will and my ability to let go and most definitely let God.  

Strength. Two passages of Scripture populate when I hear the word strength.

Scripture passage number one, “I can do all things, through Christ, who strengthens me,” (Philippians 4:13); Scripture passage number two, from the Sermon on the Mount, “Blessed are the meek…” (Matthew 5:5).

Strength is a fickle word to define. A good leader, especially in politics, like a good lineman in football is thought to be “strong,” but certainly the strength of the lineman and the strength of the politician are not the same, or are they? I think strength is born of will or desire, determination or practice. I think also strength should not be thought of as entirely synonymous with the word “might” or relegated only for the concept of physical strength. A better synonym for strength, on a football field or in a hall of power might be the word resolve. Strength as resolve is the reason, I think of those two Scripture passages. And I think those two passages are very much interrelated.

Blessed are the meek, I do not think means blessed the weak. Rather, the meek are those who are gentle, those who have the power, the strength to overwhelm, strike-down, to hurt or annihilate, but have also the strength to not react in that manner. The meek keep their swords sheathed, they do not react or over-react with their might. And, I think, that that is hard. I think it’s Christ who strengthens our resolve not to respond with might but rather with meekness. Many times, a show of force or lashing out is easier, perhaps automatic, compared to walking away, being meek. Because meekness is hard, perhaps unattainable on our own, we need Christ to strengthen us in meekness, to choose peace, or quiet, or gentleness, or compassion, or empathy, over “I’ll show you,” or “what about me!” actions and mentalities.  We do not have to up the ante, we do not have to view life as a zero-some game, but it takes strength, or rather meekness to choose a better way.

Purchasing Disney+ as a Christmas present for our five-year-old daughter, and two-year-old son provided to be a wise decision. With sheltering-in-place (what week are we on?) there has been an uptick in screen time for my kids. To be fair, there’s been an uptick in screen time for my wife and me too. 

 My kids have similar tastes in movies. When they argue amongst each other it’s not too frequently about what to watch but rather who gets to sit in the “best” corner of the couch. Recently, they have been watching the Toy Story series -- the adventures of two toys, Woody (a cowboy) and Buzz Lightyear (a space ranger). First released in 1995, twenty-four years later, Toy Story Four was released just last year. I am roughly the same age as Andy, the boy to whom the toys belong and I’ve very much grown up with this series, enjoy it, and thus am most pleased my children request to watch these films.

Circumstances change; newness arrives and oldness commences; adversity cycles through. The values of loyalty and commitment conspire with self-identity to sculpt the edifice of love. The name of this type of love is friendship. Through thick-and-thin, joys and sorrows, strenuous disagreements and the like, these movies are about creating and maintaining friendship. How prescient for my kids to select films, animated allegories, about friendship in the time of adversity. Friendship is a wonderful, beautiful thing. And thanks to Toy Story, that ear-worm of Randy Newman’s, “You’ve Got a Friend In Me,” is on repeat in my house. That’s a good thing. If my kids can cultivate friendships they will do well and go far. So far, they could repeat the words of Buzz Lightyear with gusto and shout, “to infinity, and beyond!” 

 

Let your hope keep you joyful, be patient in your troubles, and pray at all times.
(Romans 12:12)

At first, this quote from Romans is easier to read in “normal” times.  But, without a doubt, these are not in any way normal times to most, if not all, of us.  However, I find a surprising sense of calm emerges when I reflect about the circumstances in which these words were written.  The people this admonition was directed at were having some pretty rough times.  They probably often felt besieged and unsteady in their daily lives.  The uncertainty of the future was very real and they had little to depend on BUT hope, patience and prayer.

I remind myself of this passage often as I move along in these challenging times.  To be “patient in (my) troubles” often seems too high a bar but when I pray I find it is possible not only to be patient but to be joyful.

What simple phrase can help you sustain a sense of patience, hope and joy during these days of uncertainty?

During this time of uncertainty, we must remember to keep the faith. Our days right now are being strung together with news broadcast and media, that continue to alter our daily existence. It feels like a “tall order” some days to have faith in the unknown of tomorrow, but we must remain vigilant in the encouragement of one another. As we safety connect from a far via our phones, computers and through our prayers. We must keep our faith in God our redeemer; He has brought humanity through the wilderness and will do it again. For all the uncertain things, have faith we will overcome together.

Share your faith, and think of ways to encourage someone today?

When I consider the aspect of my life I’ve always had faith in I am struck by how this faith was based upon assumption.  I had “faith” that I would go to my job and earn a paycheck, my grandchildren would get up and go to school and learn with their friends in their classroom, I would go to the store, and get my haircut and hug my friends.

The word Faith comes from the Latin fides meaning Trust or Confidence.  I had confidence in these aspects of my life.  I trusted the normalcy of my life.  I rarely considered God in this equation and in that way I suppose it was not truly Faith as traditionally viewed.  But for me it was a foundational container for life.

Pandemic has led me to reflect upon what I really should place my faith in.  The foundation of my daily life has been shown to be only assumptions.  I need to reach out to God each morning for the grace to embrace a much stronger and less presumptuous source of Faith.  My faith is grounded in a daily renewal in a belief in a loving and consistently present God.  My hope is that once I am allowed to once again assume haircuts, hugs, classrooms and offices I will recall my true source of Faith in the time of pandemic.

How do you find faith in these times?  Has it changed with this altered reality?  How do you maintain your sense of a loving and present God? 

In this time of COVID-19 and stay-at-home orders, let us be mindful that our obedience is better than our sacrifices.

 Like most children I frequently spent my summer afternoons under the rays of the beautiful sun. Skipping rope, riding bikes and mapping out grand adventures with my closest pals. Round 6 o’clock each eve I could hear my mother call for me, cause dinner time had arrived. Off I went, each evening tracing my shadow against the endless palette of the pebbled cement. In for meal time and if it was a nice night I could join my mother and other neighbors on our front porch taking in the full body of the sweet summers night air.

 Now there was one unparticular day while letting the afternoon pass with my brother out front, a new face appeared on our block, a lightly freckled face girl with braces. Her lanky limbs shot out from her cutoff jeans and overly decorated puff paint shirt like fresh bamboo. As she grew nearer she shouted “Hey, yall live here?”, her accent gave me pause, was it Georgia or maybe Florida, “how cool” I thought. “Uh, yeah” my brother spoke before I could finish my thought. Cinching in every inch of my beaming excitement, “a new friend…YES” internally I exclaimed. As I gained my composure, responding with a faint “yea”, and a follow up “where you from?”. So poised I was (not, eye roll), well as you can imagine we became fast friends. I introduced her to the neighborhood crew, and later learned she was visiting from Virginia, and her aunt lived at the end of my street.

 And so now with each cascading afternoon I lunged myself down my front steps breeching the threshold of our daily escapades. This one day stood out among the rest, time seemed to stretch and glide by like a good piece of 25 cents sticky bubblegum. As the warmth of the sunset rolled over our backs like a snug tide, our laughter drowned out my mother’s distant call.  I knew I had to go, my shadow grew bigger with each additional 5 minutes I tacked on to my now sunless fulfilled afternoon. “Jillllllllll…..” I could hear my mother from the front porch, I was in deep to say the least. “See you tomorrow” I yelled while reaching for all my lil’ knick-knacks. Scurrying toward my house I began to rehearse my apology, as I reached home my face puddled in remorse, quietly climbing the stairs towards my mother, “Mom I’m sorry”. “No TV, no outdoors and no front porch  til the end of the week” she exclaimed as I shrunk passed her. Up to my room I went, fell upon my bed of fluff filled baby animals. I lingered for while clacking my sneakers together, trying to rewind each tid bit of the afternoon. “Three whole days…it wasn’t even that late…I should have just come home…” on and on I debated my actions internally. My mother peaked her head in “Your plate is on the table”, before she closed the door I yielded another “sorry” passed my lips and buried my face in my pillow.

 Well if you are reading this, I survived. The following Monday I got home from day camp, tossed my backpack by the front door and swoosh toward my friend’s house I went. Buzz…Buzz, I could feel the electricity of the door ring from the first floor of her Aunts apartment. “Hellooo” I hear a woman from the back porch yell out. “Hi, my name is Jill and I ammm uhhh…”, and before I could stammer another word the woman said “oh yes, Jill I’m sorry you just missed her she left for home this morning. “School goes back in session for Chany soon, but she left you this note.” The side gate creaked as I passed through to grab the glittery sticker covered letter. The woman could see the sheer sadness that had come over me and tried to assure me should be back to visit by the holidays. It made it no better, but I thanked her anyway. As if I was walking in damp sand my legs felt cumbersome, approaching the bottom stair of the porch I plummeted my eyes mystified, with unease I opened my pleated note and read:

“Dear Jill, sorry for getting you in trouble. I had lots of fun this summer. Here is my phone number so K.I.T. 703-555-1993, stay cool, Chantel”

 

 

 

 

 

Ah…the things we seem to sacrifice as we move through our lives.  We might sacrifice a night’s sleep to sit with a dying friend, a big expenditure in order to save money for a grandchild’s camp fees, a Saturday in order to help an elderly friend move  When we do this we are reflecting the true meaning of the word Sacrifice.  The genesis of this word is sacrificus – sacre meaning holy or sacred and facere meaning to make or to do.  This seems important to me.  When someone sacrifices for me I need to see the holiness, the sacredness of this act.  And when I am called to relinquish something important to me can I do so with a sense of the holy rite of compassion and love that this action reflects.

What have you recently sacrificed and did you feel the true depth of how this impacts your world and those around you?