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Same God, New Me
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Jill  »

It seems to creep in the night, seeping in every waking thought with such precision. Lingering, taunting me in the grocery, at the movies and worst of all in my prayers (so I thought).  I hid from the sheer idea of it, saying to myself “no, I’m just hurt”. I swaddled myself in deceptive invisible layers that seemed to guard me but really kept me tightly wrapped in my own misery. I was in a negative emotional free fall of brokenness.

Spring 2003, my baby brother went to be with the Lord. I lived my entire childhood with the growing understanding all life’s first were just a faded dream for my brother.  So, you would think I would be ready. I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready for the heartbreak, pain and brokenness. I wasn’t ready for the anger. I was so very angry. It was a stench, that greeted my loved ones and every person I encountered. Anger showed up in every aspect of my life.  One day, I gathered up the courage to finally truly pray about it. I was done trying to slay this anger beast on my own.  Through prayer God has renewed my spirit, and where there use to be a gaping hole of brokenness; He has planted love and peace.

In what area in your life do you need God to renew you?

Psalm 51:10  Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Comments 1 Rating: Rated 4.75 star by 2 people.
COMMENTS
Ursula Stitt JANUARY 18 2019
Jill, thank you sharing your heart and experience. Amazingly how God graces us to get through some of the hardest struggles of our lives and use the very thing to help others through theirs. These are the times God carries us in the mist of, even when it don’t feel like it. I too, have been there and more than once. Testimonials like yours let’s us know you’re not alone. Again, amazing what God trust us with. I’m just glad He’s on our side and providing for us and allowing you to be vessel of His to be used. Be encouraged in the wonderful work you are doing. It warms the heart. ❤️
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